Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
