New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
