I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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