I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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