If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
