Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think people are normalizing furries
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize