So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
