Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
