ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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