you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
