My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just google imaged poop.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
