Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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