Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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