Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
