the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize