Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize