hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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