I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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