Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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