What did we do last night that was yellow?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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