Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
