Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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