Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
