Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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