i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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