On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
