It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
