i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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