my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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