i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
