worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
