I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
