u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
