I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
