operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
