It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
