I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
