I wish I could teleport
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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