yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The Olympian is in my bed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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