are you still at the devil's house?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize