Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize