its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
