Your tits are I can't wait for
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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