So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
