Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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