thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna bring you to show and tell
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
