I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize