is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
