Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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