yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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