I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize