Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
