Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
