Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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