She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
