I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
