Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
