sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
