Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
