nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
