she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
