it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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